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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

How it feels to have a stroke


I have been wanting to share this for a couple of weeks but as usual got distracted by my surroundings. This woman is a true inspiration, miracle, and strong person. Please watch this and if not all of it pause it and watch later I was sooooo impressed by her words, wisdom and straight up emotional speech. This is a video from my psychology class and we have done many other videos for the chapters 1-5 but this is my favorite. It really touched me and I wanted to share it.

Unfortunatly I have been wanting to blog more but have been really making bows and such which is sooo time consuming. I also have been trying to get my daughter to bed which has not been easy lately and after im done im exhausted as well as have a headache. It is not that she is throwing a fit but she just wont go to bed!!My body is getting trampled with dark circles under my eyes which is sooo sad and my psorisis is getting very bad. Actually it is getting me very self concious and the Dr. today even said it needs to be taken more seriously as it will continue to get worse over the years. He even mentioned after this expensive foam I uses stops working that I may when im older have to go on a strong pill that has some CHEMO IN IT I almost dropped dead.  I even remeber going to dermos out in Oregon at OHSu an dthey  gave me so many test items to try and natural things and stuff and none worked :(  They were so cool there and really professional and I was so pregnant and it was neat.  I also remember seeing there UV light machine for people and thinking wow i wonder if I will ever have to do that?? Now my drs mentioning it!  Well my Psorasis is not that bad yet but I will just take it a day at a time until then.  I can'd do much else since its an 8 MONTH WAIT  to see a dermo so now its a waiting game tas to when and how bad it will get 
 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001470/  
There is a link about  it and some information its nothing really gross and mine is not that bad but it still makes me self concious which I usually am fairly confident.  I still just push it off. I dont want to think about it honestly I just dont.
Well I forgot but my freakin psy teacher gave us a whole chapters work for this week and im not happy about it. So much for spring break? my nose is in the books, making bows, and trying to keep up with Veona as we have been going outside since its so nice out.
Going outside now is such a pleasure to finally be able to not have to watch her every move like a first time worry wart that she may fall and hurt herself but to run around with her on the trail and Run after to soccer ball and throw ball and things. Its so wonderful since im an at athlete it feels good and makes me proud. I miss those days a tad specially since I have not run a mile or more in about 6 mths. Its different when you have a child as a sinlge mother those things slip away. That is why I love making crafts because I can make those with her as she grows and when shes a bit older I can get back into running and exercising and hopefully a gym. Until then I do situps and pilates on occasion and some walking with her but its hard for me. Like you all know I dont get out much but I make the best of it. I love this age that Veona is at because she can hold my hand and walk distances with me now and be apart of everything not just in a car seat or w/e and she is good :) No crying really or getting tired or w/e. Under two its hard because You always have some type of schedule of things like feeding, sleeping, changing diapers, carrying 9,33 billions things with you and now its way more simple. Its nice but also a little sad when I think deep about it. Her baby days are over. :( Just a couple months ago I forgot to mention this but she actually got out of the bathtub on her own !! I almost dropped dead and got all sad at the same time. I was proud of her but sad she did not need my help to get out. I didnt have to pick her up an snuggle her in her adorable towels. She can now do most of that although I sitll snuggly her and make funny noises and such. Well enough of the chatting back to makign bows since Psy work is almost done more to do on friday then a long weekend of Gma ceremonies. Its hard shes been gone and it hurts and im still sad but the process of the ceremonies keeps going and I almost wish it didnt. It almost makes it start over again :( Well I shall post later some pictures of bows and ohh I got A HUGE SURPRISE FOR YOU ALL!!! But I will save that. This video gets me all emotional and I had to blurt out this stuff before I forgot.

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